it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
