:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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