I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
