My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize