The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
