i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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