Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
