It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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