Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
