I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
