Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
