So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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