Tell her she can't have a vagina
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
