me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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