make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize