kristin has been a bad kristin
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize