Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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