so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
