im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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