I'm jealous of your bromance
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
