We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
