I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
