I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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