I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is my gift to your gina
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
