How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize