Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
