Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize