yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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