i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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