Pants 0. Shit 1.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize