The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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