is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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