my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
