So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize