Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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