Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
