He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Alive.
So much puke
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
