One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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