So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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