break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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