didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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