It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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