the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
