I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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