This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
