So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
