I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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