at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
