If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
