how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
