I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
