its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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