im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
