there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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