Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
