were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
