There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
