Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
