Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
