I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
