to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
