I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
