I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize