What did we do last night that was yellow?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
