I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize