I feel like abortions should bother me more
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
