Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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