the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
