Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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