every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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