i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
