im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
